Are You Married To Your Dream (or are you just sleeping around)?

I had an epiphany today while driving. I realized that many times, when it comes to being truly, deeply connected to my dreams, I treat them more like I’m single than if I were in a committed relationship with them.

Maybe that sounds a bit strange, but follow this analogy down with me.

Do you ever feel a bit embarrassed about your dreams, especially when you are talking to another person about them? Then you’re single.

Do you ever keep your dreams hidden, or drop them as soon as it gets a bit difficult? Single.

Do you start pursuing one dream, then when the shine dies down a bit, do you forsake it for another dream? Single.

Now, here’s the thing. I’ve always considered myself a bit of a multipotentialite, and my dreams and passions all revolve around business and entrepreneurship. I’m an idea-girl, and I find it so thrilling to come up with a new business idea, find the right business name that has an available domain, spend hours crafting the branding, logo, colors, and tagline, and get the ball rolling.

And honestly, this is one of the things that has made me a great business coach - If you have a business idea, chances are that I have tried something similar, or have at least tried a bunch of things that could work for your industry, too.

But what it hasn’t made me, ultimately, is successful. And I’m not just talking financially successful, but also just having the privilege of pointing to a single, large, time-tested thing that I have turned into a craft, mastered, and then built into a masterpiece.

Instead, what I have is a trail of shiny objects, glittering in the sun down the side of the ragged mountain I’ve been climbing for the past 25 years or so.

It isn’t a question about the quality of the ideas. They all have their elements of brilliance (if I do say so myself!), and would have likely succeeded to one degree or another had I stuck with them.

But there was a part of me that wasn’t ready to fully commit to any one of them, because if the current idea was so good, and it was so much better than the last idea I had, then who was to say that the next idea wouldn’t be even better yet? So how could I possibly tie myself down and sacrifice all the future amazing ideas I was sure to have?

And, honestly, living my “single” life was kinda fun and exciting. You never knew when the next idea would strike.

But it was also a bit like gambling. All the little wins along the way only seemed to fuel that part of me that was hoping for the big win. I wasn’t pursuing a get-rich-quick scheme, per se, but I was also getting a bit too excited about the flashes of fool’s gold that glittered in the pan.

I’m sure you’ve heard the story of R.U. Darby’s uncle, a minor who worked so hard pursuing gold, only to give up a mere three feet from a vein of gold worth millions. I wonder how many veins of gold I’ve left in the ground because I grew weary or some other exciting idea stole my attention away?

Honestly, I’m getting too old for the “single life.” Sure, it was fun, and I explored so manu interesting things, and learned some amazing transformational lessons. I wouldn’t change it for the world.

But I’ve decided that my single days are over.

By dream - my business - and I are getting married. And here is how it will work in the real world:

This website, EmberWildwood.com, will house my heart (aka, my business). It is where my passions and pleasures will play and dance and sing and mingle. I will share my thoughts and dreams and ideas and inspirations here.

Occasionally, this business and I will have children. Mostly, those will be in the form of courses, masterminds, coaching sessions, books, and videos. Sometimes it might be a little zine or pop-up shop or something a bit more tangible. But they will all be the love-children of the business I am marrying.

I am no longer available to “mess around” with “side-pieces” (better known as side-hustles). My devotion, through thick and thin, better or worse, richer or poorer, will be to my one business.

Instead of getting swept away by new ideas, I will simply share them here instead, in the hopes that perhaps one of you will find them inspiring and worth “marrying.” If you have good business ideas that you aren’t interested in marrying, you can send them over to me as well if you’d like, and I can post them on the Business Ideas page as well.

I didn’t ever think I’d “settle down” like this, to be honest. I thought I’d be a happy multipotentialite with like 4 different businesses and a few more on the back burner at all times. I didn’t think that I could handle choosing just one thing - it felt like someone was asking me to sacrifice all of my children except one.

But now I realize that real life doesn’t work that way. There are only so many hours in the day, and switching gears between ideas takes so much energy away from accomplishing any one thing.

I think a lot of my hesitation to choose came from a fear of failing if I hitched my star to the wrong wagon. But I also think it was a bit deeper than that. It was the thrill of the chase rather than the grind of the build that I was after. And sure, if you are constantly chasing you might catch something here and there. But you rarely have anything to show for it at the end of the day.

My business and I aren’t building something small. We are building a kingdom. It is going to take time to build the castle, stone by stone. But in a few years, I’m going to have something strong and magnificent to show for my efforts.

Like a real marriage, I know this “relationship” is going to hone and shape me in ways that I can’t even anticipate. There may be some fights and growing pains along the way. My business and I might go through phases where we don’t even really like each other. But at the end of the day, I know that this choice is right for me.

For better or for worse.

I do.