Is it OK to Say “No” to a Good Opportunity?

Sometimes an amazing opportunity presents itself right when you least expect it. Maybe it looks like a perfect job, a beautiful relationship, or a once-in-a-lifetime chance.

But what if you, for whatever reason, feel like you don’t actually want to take that opportunity?

Maybe it would add too much to your already packed schedule or would take your attention away from other things that are important to you.

Or maybe it is one of those things that other people think is amazing, but it just doesn’t quite match you and your desires.

Are you foolish to not take every good opportunity that presents itself to you? Would you be stupid to say no?

Here are a few questions to ask yourself to help you evaluate if an opportunity is actually right for you:

1. Is the opportunity actually interesting to you?

   There are a lot of “dream opportunities” out there… but the thing to remember is that not everyone shares the same dreams. Just because many people would find the opportunity irresistible doesn’t mean that you should, too.

   Is this opportunity something that you could see yourself enjoying? Does it inspire you and challenge you in positive ways? Are you interested in becoming the kind of person that this opportunity would help you to become?

2. Will the opportunity take your life in a direction you actually want to go?

   Sometimes big opportunities mean big changes. Maybe you’d have to move, change careers, or spend the majority of your time in a completely different way. Would the potential sacrifices and changes that this opportunity would require you to make actually be worth it to you?

3. Does the opportunity align with your core values?

   This is important. Sometimes big changes require us to transform into a different person. Hopefully, that person is a better, stronger, more solid version of ourselves… something closer to the ideal person we aspire to become.

   Does this opportunity encourage you to take another step or two up the ladder of becoming your “highest self”?

4. What is the real reason why you are hesitant to take the opportunity?

   The first few reasons you come up with about why you shouldn’t take an opportunity is probably not the real, deepest reason why you really don’t want to do it. We tell ourselves stories all the time based on our deepest fears, an aspirational version of ourselves, or because of what other people might say or think about us. Take a few moments to dig a bit deeper into ALL the reasons why you are hesitant. When you think you are finished, ask yourself again “And why do I not want to do this?”

   The reasons on your list will likely fall into two different categories:

   1. The good reasons why you shouldn’t take the opportunity:

      1. Bad fit. If the opportunity doesn’t match who you are or what you want to become, then it isn’t the right fit for you, no matter how awesome it looks from the outside.

      2. Not interesting. What seems fun for one person might feel like torture to another. Just because everyone else thinks the opportunity would be amazing doesn’t mean you have to care about it.

      3. You truly don’t want to change your status quo right now. You are happy with your current life direction, and this opportunity would divert you away from a life you are already content with.

   2. The bad reasons why you shouldn’t take the opportunity:

      1. Fear. It can be hard to admit when you are afraid of something, but many times, we let our fear of expansion or of the unknown hold us back from beautiful things.

      2. Imposter syndrome. Are you feeling like a “fake” or a “poser” for even considering the opportunity? These are probably lies your subconscious is telling you to try to keep you “safe” by encouraging you to play it small. Even super-famous, successful people, like Lady Gaga, Tina Fey, Tom Hanks, and Emma Watson experience imposter syndrome, so if you are feeling it, know you’re not alone, and go do the thing anyways!

      3. Self-limiting beliefs. We have all experienced that little voice in our head that tells us stories like, “I could never do X because I’m too ______ / not ______ enough / can’t ______ as good as ______ / etc.” That little voice, no matter how good its intentions are, is a dirty little liar, and you need to ignore it. Even if what it is saying is just a little bit true, the fact is, YOU have the opportunity right now, and you should take it if you want it.

      4. Other people’s opinions. The people who have opinions about you will still have opinions about you whether or not you take this opportunity. They clearly don’t have your best interests at heart, so who cares what they think?

5. How would your life change for the better if you took the opportunity?

   Make a list of all the amazing things you could invite into your life if you accepted this opportunity. Is this the start of something wonderful?

6. How would your life change for the worse if you took the opportunity?

   Some opportunities might require sacrifice. Other opportunities are just bad ideas wrapped in pretty packaging. How might your life change in ways that you wouldn’t like if you took this opportunity?

7. Have you prayed about it / meditated about it / spent some quiet time with your own heart and soul?

   Give yourself some quiet time. It can be easy to ignore our “still, small voice” if we are swept up in the noise and chaos of daily life.

Give yourself enough time to make a good decision, but not so much time that you talk yourself out of something amazing.

Good luck with your decisions!

-Em